Dear Deardamnit

Thank you for being here. I didn't really use you much, and only read you for the amusing comments, but...

I don't need you anymore!

I don't need you anymore!

Hear me?

Sorry. I just needed to get that out of my system. :)

<33333333333333333333
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

50,670 words later...

It's over! Finally!

Now to finish the story, I guess. They're not even off Conchordia yet. The way things are going, we're only 60% done plot wise over here. None of the good stuff has happened yet!

And still I'm already having ideas for sequels. :\

Dear Plot (Not You),

Where did we go wrong? Why aren't you even NEARING completion? Whose idea was it to waste 8k words on a bloody trip to Rexel?

Dear Shrenk and the Death Knives,

You are awesome. Thanks for turning up. Now just get a freaking motive for capturing Corsan and Shem, KK?

Dear Commerce Lords,

You too. Pity you showed up too late to actually do anything good rather than just make cool allusions to. Ah well, there's always the sequel.

Dear Shem,

WTF ARE YOU DOING IN MY STORY 2.

Dear Ev and Stuart,

Congratulations, you're in my NaNo!

Technically, you aren't fictional characters. Although I've always had my doubts.

Yours,
The painter of satirical portraits of my drunken friends

Raaaaake

get back here. now. okies? I MISS YOU.

root.

Dear Grant

Wtf? You were supposed to be a warder, not a juvenile delinquent (and honestly, what kind of a name is 'Norman'?).

Dear Jake,
Yes, you are a one-scene plot device, and your imminent release is purely so you can tell Dee everything she needs to know and then get the hell out of my plot.
And your point is...?

xxx
Ev

Dear Dee

Seriously, this getting yourself arrested was a really bad idea.

I mean, I can do school. I know about my school. I can imagine your school, even when you're taking damnfool subjects like that flybug one.

But what the hell do I know about police procedure?

There are going to be so many inaccurate details and unfounded assertations and half-remembered snatches of a trailer for The Bill that even you're going to get sick of this. Not to mention my wordcount has slowed to a crawl because I keep needing to pull procedures out of thin air. I despair sometimes, I really do.

- Ev

P.S. Don't think this is going to be fun. I'm not happy with you.

Dear Rake,

YOU

ARE

FANTASTICK.

WITH A K.

I think you're my favourite character in the novel so far (if I'm allowed to have one), which isn't bad to say you were supposed to die ~10,000 words in.

Stick at it man,
Root.

Dear Enialis,

Thank you SO MUCH for showing up right now. You make Ivellios so happy, and provide me with an easy route to the eventual demise of the Evil Warlock. I might even turn you into a MC. How good would that be? Its very tempting.

Love,

Paul. <333 xxx

Dear Plot

You showed up! I am so goddamn proud of you! And we're only, what, halfway through the book?

xxx
Ev

Dear Robert,

Okay... this drug thing is getting disturbing now. Don't be surprised if I start ignoring you a bit.

Dear Hetty,
Your goats may be a metaphor and your story may be a metaphor, but that means your goats must be real within the confines of the story.

You know I'm right. Give up.

Love,
Ev

Dear...

Rake:

Don't you dare do what I think you're going to do. No. Nopey nopey nope.

Desreal:

Stop hogging the limelight. This is supposed to be about Corsan, not you.

Shem:

WTF ARE YOU DOING IN MY BOOK?

Chin up,
Rooty.

Dear Battle Tactics teacher,

Right, you are pissing me off. Becuase you are HOLDING UP MY WORDCOUNT, and in the little universe of my Nano, no crime is more henious. Your problem is, you're taking part in a fairly interesting scene. That wasn't planned. You were just supposed to turn up, drone on about space battles, hand out reading lists and wander off back to the staff room. Now you're demanding a part in the plot. Well, here's some news - there are no parts. I have squeezed in as many extra characters as I possibly can, and there is no room for you.
You will just have to have your scene and then disappear. I know this means abandoning any literary integrity whatsoever, but that went out of the window long ago anyway. You'll probably disappear in the edit, so I suppose it doesn't matter whether you're male or female. I might call you Francis so I don't have to decide.

- Ev

First post...

Dear Ivellios,

Get your head out of your own arse! I did NOT create you like this.

Dear Thamior,

Get more resentful already! I need you to be corrupted somehow. And STOP PERVING ON YOUR COUSIN.

Dear Plot,

Thank you for arriving and providing me with some lovely ideas.

Love, the author. xxx