Dear Plots (Both of You)

Dear Plot,

Thank you for visiting me in the late hours of last night (much more welcome than Paul's textual message with quite violently woke me up :\). You couldn't have come at a better time, because now I know where I'm going to be going with this thing. You couldn't be a dear and flesh out your first half, though? I need something more...meaty...than just killing time hunting disappearing planets until they discover Kenkennel.

Dear Plot,

I'm sorry that you have to die in such a horrible, splendidly violent way halfway through the novel, especially the manner in which it's executed. Because you're such a nice lad and you'd never hurt anyone (except for the one you murdered) and you were only trying to make amends. But with a surname like that, well, it does imply that something's up. And you know how tender he is about this sort of stuff. You should have stayed well away, you really should have. What were you thinking? How about a first name, would that make you feel better? I'm thinking Jobias.

See you both on the 1st November,
Rooty.