Dear non-existant characters,

Notice title. I think this is one of my better ones. It does, in fact, encapsulate the entire problem. You don't exist. You have no names, faces, jobs, genders, problems or plots. I have ONE character, who is my age, my gender and ooh, let's see, suprisingly enough, looks somewhat like me. And she has no plot either.
You know I like character driven plots. This doesn't work when there are No Darn Characters.
So. Get in gear. You have two weeks. Actually, you don't, because if I don't have at least some of you by next week I'm going to panic and probably go back to writing fantasy and my (admittedly recently formed) dreams of doing a scifi book are going to be so much intergalactic dust.
Exist, damn you.

Your loving would-be-author

-Ev